So, my daughter has this song she made up called "I like me." She started singing it a couple weeks ago in the car as we were driving along. At first, I thought she was singing "I like meat." One of her aunties likes to talk about how much she loves meat around her, so she will mimic her from time to time! It wasn't until the next day that I realized she was singing "I like me" and I just melted. She sings it from her soul; she smiles, dances, screams it as loud as she can. And she loves for me to chime in too.
I am the kind of mother who tries to think outside the box in terms of what I teach my babies and how I teach them. I am constantly making up songs, creating affirmations, making up gestures that will remind them of certain values; I try to get creative with everything. And I talk to them about things that to some, may seem way over their heads. Sometimes when I am doing these things, I feel so silly and I think to myself, "Is this really going to work?" Or I wonder how much of what I am saying, do they actually understand. But, when I see my daughter embrace who she is with such certainty, it just inspires me to keep trying. She soaks up everything I throw at her, sometimes right away or I'll see the result of something I said or did, in something she will intitiate herself. It has really expanded my thoughts on children's capacities to learn and absorb information.
My daughter actually came out of the womb with her assuredness, I just want to help it grow. From dancing in the mirror at 6 mths old, to understanding her magnetic quality when she walks in to a room; I am constantly amazed by how strong she is, in who she is, and as young as she is. It's actually too much at times but, it's completely rooted in her spirit which makes it difficult to interfere with. It can be a challenge but, as her mother I only want her to continue to have a healthy self-image and to love herself through everything that life brings.
One of the little "gestures" we do all the time is called the "the squeeze." From the time she was a year old, I would say to her, "give yourself a squeeze." She'll wrap her arms around her body, make the hugging sound, and then give herself a kiss. I'll do that with her when she is upset or just in random happy moments. She loves it. These types of things really stick with her and she'll initiate them on her own too. It is quite corny but, most effective!
The moral of this story is that guiding children in love is beautiful and healthy. I remember exactly when my self-esteem crumbled. I was entering middle school and the light that I saw myself in was dimmed, in one day. And it's something that I've had to struggle with since. When I look at my daughter now, I want that strength that she has to be for her safe keeping. And when I hear her sing her song, it tells me to stop doubting myself because she is getting it.
Until next time.
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