Motherhood: Reaching a turning point and embracing it



30 and counting....



"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?." - Frank Scully (according to www.thinkexist.com)

I will be turning 30 next Friday, the 8th, and I must say that I have experienced mixed emotions about it. I have spent the last couple years pretty disconnected from my birthday so, I wasn't expecting to have a reaction to turning 30. But, I did. Everything began to feel incredibly urgent. I certainly didn't think that I was getting old already but, time did start to feel different for me. And I felt a little anxious too. After some reflection, I concluded that turning 30 represents a turning point among many that I am experiencing, and it catapulted me into this reality that the doorways are opened and that there is no better time to walk on through.

I also think it is more of an impact since my babies are growing so fast simultaneously. And there are so many things that I want to accomplish for them and myself. So now, I am working extra hard and it's a very exciting time on so many levels. I am seeing my dreams truly unfold, which is a really good feeling. I am now welcoming 30 with open arms, as it truly represents entering into this brand new phase of my life.

In honor of all of this, I decided to plan a 30- day adventure. Over the course of 30 days in July (my birthday month), I will be doing 30 new things or things that I have always wanted to do but, never did. I have compiled a list of activities that are fun, light-hearted, healing, and offerings of love to myself, my loved ones, the earth, and even complete strangers. I was going to do one new thing a day but, some of the activites require more than one day to complete and some can done within the same day. So I decided just to make sure I completed the list within 30 days.

I will document the journey through photos, journal writing, and my blog. The purpose is to celebrate my birthday in a big way, of course, but it is also to help me to live fully again. It's been said that with discipline, you can break a habit in 30 days. I hope to break the habit of leaving my wish list for things I want to do in life, in my head. I will think about something incessantly but, I won't always take the next step to actually do it. I get paralized by fear, worry, and insecurity. Part of my continual healing is to remember what it felt like to just do things from the heart and not the mind. Once my birth month passes, I hope to continue in the direction of actualization, in every aspect of my life.

I hope that through sharing this, I will inspire other Mamas and folks to do that thing that has been on their minds to do. It may sound cliche but, sometimes we need that reminder that there is no time like the present. And through the practice of "doing," I intend to take full advantage of the moment.

Peace.

Motherhood: The Pledge

I woke up this morning and decided to create a mini vision board. I had all the pieces cut out, just hadn’t gotten around to it. I have a large one that I did last year, with my sister circle, at our annual Kwanzaa celebration. I wanted to do the second one as a reminder of two specific things: meditation and writing.

The month of May and the beginning of June proved to be quite a transformative time for me. So many things that I have struggled with, prayer for, and worked steadily towards, were finally put to rest. It was a time of letting go, closing doors, cleansing, and opening up new opportunities. I was able to lay down all the burdens that I had carried for the last few years and reconnect with myself in a way that was quite profound. I didn’t realize how much the weight of certain struggles in my life was affecting me. In one month, that was completely changed.

I had a full circle moment that to me, symbolized the completion of this certain phase of my life. The past few years have been the most difficult of my life. From losing my father (3 years ago) and grandfather (last year), to becoming a mother twice within 14 months, to dealing with the loss of a relationship, to financial struggles, and dealing with depression the entire way through; I had to work through it all to build my life up again. This phase of my life was about really facing me, dealing with a lot of unresolved issues, and learning some hard life lessons.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I wrote letters to her in a journal. I was so excited about the journey and I wanted to share it with her when she got older. I wrote from the time I was 5 months pregnant up until a couple days after my due date. After she was born, I went to write in it and I couldn’t find it. I was crushed. That journal meant so much to me; I looked everywhere in hopes of finding it. I had never let go of losing it. A few months ago, I even thought about calling this restaurant I used to eat all the time while I was pregnant with her, to see if may have been collecting dust in their lost and found box.

Losing that journal traumatized me to the core. With losing my father and not having much to my name (so I thought at the time), that journal represented so much more than words on pages to me. I agonized over it constantly. I stopped writing for a long time; I didn’t even want to write in her baby book. It was just an added weight on my already depressed mind and body.

I fought my way through all of my sadness and found peace in possibility. Even when I thought I was at my end (several times), there was always some sort of divine intervention that affirmed my faith and trust. Something or someone would bring just what I needed, with the perfect timing.

When I went back to Atlanta in May to finish up some business there, I had no idea what was in store for me. As I said before, everything that I was struggling with came to a close. And on the last day of dealing with my home there, I decided to take some paper bags that I had collected, to the recycling center. As I was placing the bags in the recycling dump, I noticed that something was at the bottom of the last one. I pulled the bag that covered the item out and to my absolute shock, there was my pregnancy journal. I kept my composure but, I was screaming and crying on the inside. I had not only found my journal (or, it found me) but, it was the last piece of the puzzle. Suddenly, I could breathe easier. It was the last burden that I had not yet made absolute peace with and it represented the beginning and end of this rocky road for me.

Now that I am more free and clear, I must honor this opportunity by doing everything that I’ve been saying I wanted to do for so long. Two of my challenges are discipline and completing things. I have always been able to find an excuse on why I didn’t finish something. Or, I would find a new distraction. Now, I have no choice but to invest my energy into my life’s work and manifest my dreams. There is nothing in my way. And perhaps, there never was.

I am making a pledge to myself, to my children, family, and to all of you, to meditate and write every day; no matter what. Meditation represents discipline and tapping into my inner being; it’s a pathway to clearing my “container” (body and mind) so that I can be centered enough to write with clarity and focus. The potential of my life depends on my discipline to meditate every day. I have failed many times. And if I want to be a great author, I must be deliberate about the actual practice of writing and completing my writing projects.

So, I made my vision board to keep me on track and I hope that you all can help with this too. Feel free to email, send an FB message, or whatever, and ask me if I’ve written anything or meditated on that day. One thing a dear friend reminds me of daily is how I isolated myself during the hardest times of my life. In reconnecting with myself, I am working on reconnecting with people.

I am excited for this turning point in my life. I intend to make myself and everyone around me, very proud by what I will accomplish. The lesson here is that there is inspiration in possibility, fulfillment in deliberate action, and happiness in the manifestation of dreams.



My pregnancy journal



I talked about some of my favorite things like, the Lotus flower....



Motherhood: Do away with self-doubt and embrace self-love

So, my daughter has this song she made up called "I like me." She started singing it a couple weeks ago in the car as we were driving along. At first, I thought she was singing "I like meat." One of her aunties likes to talk about how much she loves meat around her, so she will mimic her from time to time! It wasn't until the next day that I realized she was singing "I like me" and I just melted. She sings it from her soul; she smiles, dances, screams it as loud as she can. And she loves for me to chime in too.

I am the kind of mother who tries to think outside the box in terms of what I teach my babies and how I teach them. I am constantly making up songs, creating affirmations, making up gestures that will remind them of certain values; I try to get creative with everything. And I talk to them about things that to some, may seem way over their heads. Sometimes when I am doing these things, I feel so silly and I think to myself, "Is this really going to work?" Or I wonder how much of what I am saying, do they actually understand. But, when I see my daughter embrace who she is with such certainty, it just inspires me to keep trying. She soaks up everything I throw at her, sometimes right away or I'll see the result of something I said or did, in something she will intitiate herself. It has really expanded my thoughts on children's capacities to learn and absorb information.

My daughter actually came out of the womb with her assuredness, I just want to help it grow. From dancing in the mirror at 6 mths old, to understanding her magnetic quality when she walks in to a room; I am constantly amazed by how strong she is, in who she is, and as young as she is. It's actually too much at times but, it's completely rooted in her spirit which makes it difficult to interfere with. It can be a challenge but, as her mother I only want her to continue to have a healthy self-image and to love herself through everything that life brings.

One of the little "gestures" we do all the time is called the "the squeeze." From the time she was a year old, I would say to her, "give yourself a squeeze." She'll wrap her arms around her body, make the hugging sound, and then give herself a kiss. I'll do that with her when she is upset or just in random happy moments. She loves it. These types of things really stick with her and she'll initiate them on her own too. It is quite corny but, most effective!

The moral of this story is that guiding children in love is beautiful and healthy. I remember exactly when my self-esteem crumbled. I was entering middle school and the light that I saw myself in was dimmed, in one day. And it's something that I've had to struggle with since. When I look at my daughter now, I want that strength that she has to be for her safe keeping. And when I hear her sing her song, it tells me to stop doubting myself because she is getting it.

Until next time.

Motherhood: Learning to surrender

Me and my "sun": A glittering moment of perfection....
Photo Credit- Wayne Gaskin of Genuis Photography

Well folks, it has been awhile since I have blogged about anything. My life has been a whirlwind (in a good way) and I've been riding the waves of transformation. When the energy is high and life is stirring, my writing is always the thing that suffers. I have been thinking about writing an entry for awhile now but, I couldn't focus in on a topic to blog about.

Then, a few minutes ago, I looked over at my son while he is napping and the word "surrender" came to my mind. He is so peaceful with his arms raised over his head and that moment became an opportunity for me to just come on here and write about whatever came through my fingertips. It's amazing that as mothers, we are here to teach our children but, they end up teaching us far more. The wonderful part about it is they are usually just being themselves and doing what they naturally do.

I have been thinking a lot about my views on destiny lately. As I reflect on my life these past few years, my perception of it is beginning to change. In the past I had thought that I had come face to face with destiny and then I began to doubt it. My life looked far different than I ever envisioned and I was scared that I had completely altered the course of my entire life forever. Destiny felt like a thing of the past.

I had an "aha" moment a few days ago and realized that destiny isn't always wrapped in a perfect box and it doesn't always come to us with bells and whistles. Just as destiny is in the pleasurable times; it resides in the moments of uncertainty and despair. It is the decisions you make with what you are given or what you have chosen that makes the difference in how your life unfolds.

 Now that I am at a turning point in my life (there have been many), I can look back on all the hardships and see exactly what I gained as a human being and as a mother. I am the culmination of all that I have experienced and I almost feel like I wouldn't be where I am; with the amount of awareness and appreciation for life, if I hadn't gone down this road. And through it all, I always felt in my heart that this was preparing me for something far greater. I just didn't trust in my own intuition.

My road has been unpaved, desolate, and there were times where all I could see were dead ends. There were so many times where I felt like giving up completely; and in many ways, I did. But, there were also glittering moments of perfection that kept me feeling like I was still being guided through the seemingly impossible. And as I look back on how I got to this place, it all seems far more than just serendipity. While I believe that my destiny has been revealing itself all along, I also understand now that love, consciousness, and discipline are at the heart of actualizing anything. I have the proper tools to rebuild my life with righteousness and I am a testament to the power of possibility.

As I cross over into a new phase of my life, I am more humble and grateful than ever! In the midst of it all, I have the most amazing life with my children; even with the challenges, it sometimes feels otherwordly.The message of surrender is to let go and embrace what is. It's the gift of acceptance. It is trusting in your own process and being authentic in your own life. It is the power in just being who you are and living with faith and trust.

I surrender to the greatness of who I am as a mother, visionary, and human being. I am eagerly anticipating all that is to come in life and am excited for the opportunity to share more of the journey.

Mommy's Minute: How to get an energy boost



Avocados- Yummy and Energizing

 With two small babies, it can be difficult to mantain my energy level. With breastfeeding my son and dealing with the daily tasks of motherhood, I have often felt depleted. My only saving grace was trying to catch a nap while they slept but, that is golden time that can be used more productively. I have also been sleep-deprived at night because, my son still gets up through the night to eat.


It is hard to be "present," when you are running on empty everyday. It became a necessity for me to implement some energy boosting strategies and I have to say that I feel so much better these days. No matter what you are juggling in your daily life, it is imperative to nurture and nourish your body. I know that is something I have to constantly remind myself, especially since I am breastfeeding my son. I just wanted to share some simple things that I have implemented that have proven very effective so far. I must say that in order to rebuild your energy, you have to do some sort of consistent regimen.


Sun Salutation- It is as simple as getting out of your bed and going for your morning stretch. This is a very well-known posture in the yogic tradition and is a great way to reawaken your body. By doing yoga postures you are energizing your nervous system and helping to boost your blood circulation (amongst many other benefits). Take a few minutes when you wake up to do a few or spread them throughout your day.

1. Begin by standing tall, shoulders down and relaxed, and bring your hands into prayer position in  front of your chest. Take a deep breath in and slowly extend your arms overhead, maintaining the prayer position. Once you your arms are fully extended, slowly lean back to create a slight back bend (if you are trying this for the first time, don't bend back too far; the rush of energy can send you flying to the floor, once you bend forward). As you exhale, gently begin to come back to a standing position and slowly bend forward; bringing your arms down towards your toes. Do not force it, just allow your body to settle where ever it feels comfortable. Slowly begin to roll up to a standing position, your head should be the last to rise. Bring your hands back into prayer position, then release your hands back to your sides. Close your eyes, release all tension from your body, and feel the flow of energy circulating through your body.

Juicing- An energy booster and stress reliever all wrapped into one. I absolutely love juicing! Many people like the finished product but, they don't like all the prep work and cleaning involved. I love to do it; it's my way of getting into "my zone" when I need to release some unwanted stress. If you need a pick-me-up; fresh carrot, apple, and ginger juice will give a great boost. I never thought I would see the day where I would drink carrot juice but, this is my ultimate favorite blend, thus far. Carrots and apples are jam packed with wonderful vitamins and ginger is great for your blood circulation. I usually just feel my way around juicing but, here is a recipe, for about a pint of juice:

8 medium carrots

3 Apples

Inch of Ginger

Wash your produce thoroughly, juice, and enjoy! Make sure to store the remaining juice immediately and drink it while it's still as fresh as possible.

Vitamin C- As the spring season came trickling in, I was having difficulties with the pollen everywhere. I have been drinking green tea and taking 1,000mg of Vitamin C everyday and that has been a tremendous help. What I found is that green tea is natural anti-histamine and the Vitamin C helps to boost your immune system. When you are dealing with allergies, the body basically feels like it is being attacked and your immune system works on overdrive. The Vitamin C helps to balance your immune system for optimal functioning. Since I have been taking it, I have felt more energized. Folks usually scramble to get on the Vitamin C when they feel a sickness coming on. It is better to use it as a  daily supplement to build your immune system and prevent illness. Of course the ideal is to eat super foods that are rich in vitamin C but, if you know you aren't eating well enough to support your body, take some Vitamin C! Getting energized is a bonus.

Apple Cider Vinegar- If there is one item that every household should have well stocked, it is apple cider vinegar. It is one of the most valuable home remedies, with a plethora of uses. It helps with allergies, acne, body cleansing, dandruff, sinus infections, etc. And it has been said that it helps with more major health issues such as arthritis, gout, diabetes, high blood pressure; there is even an apple cider vinegar diet because, it helps to break down fats. I have even used it as a coolant when my daughter had a fever. People with chronic fatigue have been known to use an apple cider vinegar tea and it has been proven effective. Now this isn't one that I have used consistently, but I have friends who have said that they have certainly felt an energy boost by drinking it as a tea.

          

All you have to do is boil the water, place a tablespoon of ACV and a tablespoon of honey into your favorite tea cup (it may taste better, if the cup is pretty). Pour the hot water over the mixture and stir. Drink daily and your body may just get the revitalization it needs.

Avocado- I have been experimenting with eating super foods that in my past, I wouldn't dare to eat. So far I have tackled many; my two most recent successes are tomatoes and mushrooms. I went from despising them to absolutely loving them and wanting them in everything I cook. Avocados is another one; it is a super food and great for energy. They naturally act as a "nutrient booster" by helping the body to absorb more fat soluble nutrients. They are also rich in the good fats, fiber, potassium, folic acid, Vitamin E, and many other essential nutrients. I can't just cut an avocado and toss it in with my salad; maybe that will happen over time. For now, I get my avocado fix by making it into a deliciously creamy shake.

          

Open the avocado, remove the seed, and scoop out into the blender. I like to use almond milk but, you can use your milk of choice. You may need at least two cups. Pour the first half of the milk into the blender and blend until somewhat smooth. Add the second half and your favorite sweetner (I use honey) and blend until completely smooth. I like to add apple juice to thin it out some (it can be very thick, depending on the size of the avocado). I like to blend mine with a little ice too but, that optional.

Water- A simple way to get an energy boost is to drink a cup of water in the morning, before you eat anything. I found this when I was doing some research on detoxing the body. When you are getting ready to eat breakfast, you are essentially "breaking a fast." Your body also needs to be hydrated so, drinking a cup of water helps to wake the body up after a long night of sleep. I have been doing this consistently and I definitely feel a difference. And I have amped up the amount of water I drink throughout the day.

Nature- Perhaps my favorite thing to do when I am feeling drained, or at anytime for that matter, is to go out into nature. We are surrounded by a living energy and it's nice to just be in the midst of it with awareness and intention. My babies have a book called "Out of the Ocean," by Debra Frasier, and it says in there that the bigger the thing is, sometimes the easier it is to forget it's there. When we are going about our busy days, it can be easy to forget the energy of the sun, the vivrant colors of the leaves on trees, or the fragrant smell of distant flowers. There is life all around us; just as the book says, we just have to remember to look.

Feel free to share your tips for a quick energy boost!

Mommy Adventures: Yoga, chanting, and potty training

Discipline...my life's work, happiness, and spiritual fulfillment, rests in that very word. Actualizing my discipline is perhaps my greatest challenge. I realized, from the words of a wise friend, that mastering something is about the discipline of continuing the process, no matter what. I also recognize that discipline takes letting go of wanting instant gratification; it is about a journey and getting better with time.

Many of the tasks in my life now, as a woman with a vision and as a mother, are centered around my discipline. My success depends on how much energy I put into my tasks, on a daily basis. The challenge comes when I face perpetual difficulty or no real sense of forward movement. Case in point, potty training my daughter is an act of discipline that has proven to be quite a challenge. The question becomes, how do you potty train a child that wakes up chanting, "no more potty" repeatedly?!

I have tried everything I can think of and suggestions of others but,  I understand that to stop now, would be feeding my own "shadow behavior." This is a term coined by my spiritual teacher that speaks to the unhealthy habits that will continue to overshadow our growth, if we continue to "give in" to them. My unhealthy habit is giving up sometimes, when things get tough or seem impossible.

Yoga and meditation have been an integral part of my life and my spiritual journey for several years. It grounds me, breathes life into everything I do; meditation brings me beautiful clarity and focus for my life. The challenge for me has been doing my daily practice, no matter what else is happening in my life. When I become overwhelmed, I usually let go of my daily practice.

How do I make sure to keep up with my discipline now? I utilize every moment I can to plug into it. So lately, while I have been sitting with my daughter, while she is on the potty; we chant together and I do my postures. Sometimes I sing songs, read to her, and focus on trying to get her to potty. But, we have been going at this for many months now and knowing my daughter, she just needs to be left to her own "doing." She is such an old soul and makes it very clear that she does certain things in her time. Now, while I am disciplining myself to consistently get her on the potty everyday, we take that time to be in our own process. I know that if I continue to place her on that potty, with deliberate action and discipline, she will succeed and so will I.

The message for me is to continue doing what I need to do, no matter the immediate outcome. It would be easy for me to throw my hands up and take a break from the daily rigor of potty training. But, in order for to make a breakthrough in letting go of this lifelong habit, I have to use every possible opportunity to further my own development. Juggling motherhood and my personal development has to be interconnected because there is just not enough time in the day to carve out enough moments for self-work. So, until my babies are old enough to be a little more independent, I will be blending my yoga with potty training and every other motherly duty!

Work in Progress: Raising health-conscious children (part 2)

I consider maintaining a healthy lifestyle an investment, on many levels. I've kind of swallowed the fact that eating healthy can cost bigger bucks, especially when you have children to feed. As I become more resourceful, I've learned that in some ways, it can also be a notion that is used to intimidate people into continuing to support unhealthier food venues and products. As the demand for healthier and natural products rise, the prices are slowly beginning to balance out with certain food items. Still, as I read more about the pesticides, chemical processing of produce, and the increasing use of genetically modified seeds, I have been more inclined to buy organic for the family. It is hard to even trust that everything that is labeled organic is authentically so, however, part of living well for me, is about intention.

If I had it, I would try to buy everything organic but, that is not possible at this point. The long term goal is to grow my own food, which would "weed out" the trust issues and it would be lighter on the pockets. In the meantime, I do what I can to decrease the amount of harmful chemicals that I eat and introduce to my children.

 A lot of people would shrug their shoulders at the issue of chemically grown and processed foods but, it sincerely matters. Our bodies are not equipped to handle the amount of chemicals that are ingested through our foods, body products, the air, household cleansers, etc. According to Lisa Marshall, a writer for the magazine Delicious Living, there are about “85,000 industrial chemicals now in use." This wreaks havoc on our lungs, kidneys, colon, lymph system, pancreas; our bodies in general cannot maintain the level of optimal functioning when they are working overtime to filter out harmful toxins. That, to me, is where the breakdown begins and we become more susceptible to illness and disease. It is easy to get overwhelmed and just throw the towel in but, there are great options for giving your body a boost and helping to decrease the ingestion of harmful chemicals.

I wanted to share this golden information that I use as a guide to select my priorities for what to purchase organic. There is a "Dirty Dozen List" that was created by the Environmental Working Group, to inform the public about which foods contain the most chemicals and are therefore, more toxic to consume regularly (based on studies conducted by the USDA and FDA). While most of the produce contains some sort of chemical component, they help to shed light on the ones that you may want to consider buying organic. The great thing about it is, if you can't afford to buy organic, the list also gives you suggestions on produce that may be safer.

The list changes as they continue to update their studies but, the general conclusion that I have come to is that produce with thinner skin or no protective layer (like green leafy vegetables) are at a greater risk for absorption of toxic chemicals. I also think that the ones that are in higher demand are more at risk. It is good to scrub the outer layer of your produce anyway but, for some, such as apples or peaches, it doesn't completely wash away the chemical residue. Bananas, eggplant, watermelon, and avocados are all examples of produce that are safer to eat because of their thicker protective layer. I purchase organic spinach, apples, celery, parsley, and carrots. Those are the foods I consume most often and I also use them when juicing.

Buying organic from a major grocery store is usually more expensive but, there is also the option of buying locally grown foods from fresh produce markets. You can inquire about how the food is grown and many small farmers like to maintain the integrity of their produce. Buying local is also great because much of our produce is imported and can travel 1500+ miles. This alone causes the nutritional value to decline before it even hits the produce stand. And the shipment boxes are sometimes laced with chemicals to preserve the freshness.

 Participating in community gardens and growing your own food are also great options, for many reasons. As I am researching more about gardening, there are many fruits and vegetables that are easy to grow and manage. And if you don’t have a back yard, there is produce that you can grow in pots!

For more information on the “Dirty Dozen List”, see the links below. I realize in my personal journey that change often times comes from access to valuable information. I hope that by sharing this list, it will provide another step towards creating a healthier and brighter future for our children. So, check it out and pass it on!

Happy Eating!

The New Dirty Dozen

The Dirty Dozen-12 Foods to Eat Organic

Mommy Adventures: Taking time by the water

A few days ago, I decided to take my babies to the water. We went together for the first time in October of last year, and it was quite an overwhelming experience. I thought that my daughter would be very excited to go to the beach and I had this fantasy in my head that she would just frolic by the shore, play in the sand, and be totally at peace with the water. That was the furthest thing from reality. Once our feet touched the sand, she was extremely frightened; she was screaming, crying, and throwing her body around in resistance. I tried to take her closer, let her toes touch the water, show her that it was completely safe but, she just got even more upset. I had never seen her like that. So, my mother took her back to the benches, calmed her down, and my son and I took in the beach experience.

I was completely stunned by her reaction. This Piscean baby was freaked out by water. And then I remembered that she had a similar experience when I took her to a little "water park" for children. She wasn't as frightened as the beach incident but, it took awhile for her to even want to go in the water and I had to hold her the entire time. I was beginning to wonder if she was going to have an ongoing fear of water.

I realized by talking to other people that it can be very overwhelming for some babies to experience the ocean for the first time. And when I reflected on that, it made perfect sense. To go from the comforts of water in a bathtub to a seemingly endless sea, with crashing waves, and coarse sand between your toes, I could understand her fears. I also realized that she was just lacking in exposure. In Georgia, we were deprived of any bodies of water so, I didn't introduce her to the water when she was smaller. And we didn't venture to the swimming pool either.

One we got to Florida, I made a committment to get her acclimated to the water. I have loved the water since I was a baby but, there are a lot of things that I haven't experienced because of fears that stem from my childhood. I could see some of that in my daughter already and while I didn't want to push her, I also didn't want her to get boxed into fears that could be dealt with, slowly and with care. A large part of that with her, was just opening her up to aspects of the world that she hadn't seen.

Our second trip to the beach began with a drive along the shoreline. I rolled down the windows so she could look out and she was very excited. She was pointing and trying to show her baby brother who was asleep by her side. Then, I parked the car and we walked to the rocky landing and looked out onto the water. I just let her take it all in. She was nervous but, we were close enough to see with enough distance so that she felt safe. As we walked back to the car, she kept saying "want beach," so I told her that we would go and find a nice place to sit by the water.

We continued our drive until we reached the actual beach. I found an awesome spot away from all the people, where the water was quiet, shallow, and we could sit right by it. She was still frightened but, not as resistant as the first time. I took my cues from her. We acknowledged the water but, we just sat on the blanket and I read one of our books called "Out of the Ocean." I pointed to the water in the book and then showed her it was the same as the water there. I pointed to the shells, birds, palm trees, and then showed her those things all around us. She began to relax but, she still had no interest in going in the water.

The breakthrough really came when I brought the shovel and bucket out of the car. Up to that point, she remained on the blanket; her "safe space." With the bucket, she was able to venture out and get her hands dirty. In the meantime, her brother and I played in the water.

She finally came around completely, once she saw her brother. He was so free and happy in the sand and water, which made her see that there was no danger. She let me take her shoes off and she put her toes in the water. All the while, I was affirming her progress and inside I was so amazed just to see the evolution in her behavior as we spent more time out there. She went from completely resisting the water to independently going to the water, several times, and allowing her toes and hands to be immersed in it. She built her own little relationship, without me forcing it on her. I just did what I usually would do at the water, allowed her to witness it, and she decided to come when she was ready.

I wrote out the entire process because, it taught me a lot. It taught me as a mother but, it is also a metaphor for life. The first time we went I made assumptions and had expectations based on a fantasyI created. The second time, I did things according to what I know works with my daughter. The ongoing theme with her is that she does things in her own time. And as far as a life lesson, I realized (again) the importance of enjoying the journey, no matter the end result. It was so fulfilling for me and for us a family to experience building a connection to the water together. It was an enjoyable experience because my focus wasn't on making her like the water. We were just having a great time as a family and the bonus was that she became open to experiencing it.

I just love the idea that the lessons of motherhood can be applied to all aspects of life. And, I am no longer worried about her loving the water. I know that soon enough, the two of them will be splashing and swimming away. In the meantime, we will be creating beautiful family memories...

Mommy’s Minute: Reconnecting with the heart

And Spring arose on the garden fair,
Like the Spirit of Love felt everywhere;
And each flower and herb on Earth's dark breast
rose from the dreams of its wintry rest.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley, "The Sensitive Plant"

It is almost springtime. The greenery is being reborn, the sun is reawakening the Earth, and spirit of life is anew. As I begin a new chapter in my life, at present, I can’t help but feel aligned with the essence of spring and all that this season of renewal ushers in. I realize though, that since the onset of winter, my mind has been chattering away and I am feeling mentally exhausted.

Winter always seems to be my time for deep reflection, preparation, and stillness. But, since I have faced a lot of difficulties over the past few years, much of my time has been spent in that way. This is the first time where I feel like I am moving out of winter and excited to embrace the energy that spring time brings. Spring for me, is not only about new beginnings, it is also about passion, creativity, love, sweetness;  it is about connecting to the heart of life.

So, this spring, I am committed to getting out of my head and tapping back into my heart. I spend a lot of time thinking about the kind of mother I need to be and preparing for when my children get older. I am also building a life for us, which takes a lot of energy and mental exercise. I am more inclined now, to relax in the moment, enjoy the present, and let go of my “need” to control so much.

I will sink back into the vivid colors of life, enjoy the hearty laughter of my babies, and dance freely if I feel like swaying my hips. I want to take life on as adventure. It is about finding a balance with transforming life and simply allowing life to unfold, naturally. This will make life richer for both me and my children. And the beautiful thing is that children are the best teachers in this regard. Being open in heart, can be as simple as really plugging into the joyful and pure way children experience life.

For Mommy’s Minute, I wanted to share a meditation inspired by Don Miguel Ruiz’s book entitled “Prayers: A Communion with our Creator.” This is a quick exercise and is great for getting reconnected with the heart.

Get into a comfortable sitting position, gently close your eyes, and just take a moment to get centered.

Take a few slow deep breaths in, and as you slowly exhale, allow tension, stress, and thoughts to just fade away.

When you feel relaxed and still, on your next inhalation, imagine that the air you are taking in is love. Let it fill up your lungs. As you exhale, allow the feeling of love to spread through your entire body and let go of any negative feelings, stress, worry, etc. Repeat this as many times that feels good to you.

On your next inhalation, exhale slowly and think of something that brings you joy. Allow this picture to clearly come into your mind. Stay with it and focus in on the feelings (not the thoughts) that arise.

Let those joyful feelings spread through your body; feel an internal smile that connects you to your heart and brings you peace.

Continue breathing, be still, and experience this heart connection.

And when you are ready, you can open your eyes.

You can do this meditation as many times as you like. It is a great way to “get out of your mind and into your heart.”

Have a happy, healthy, and prosperous Spring!

Work in Progress: Discipline and the power of affirmation

When I would think about discipline, I used to associate it with just implementing punishment for bad behavior. With that understanding, I approached the task of disciplining my daughter, which proved to be quite the experience.

My daughter is an old soul and I believe as many others do, she has been here before. In many ways, I feel like I am raising someone who has already been a mother. My daughter is very sure of herself, strong-willed, and exudes such a confidence in the choices she makes, even if they are not to my liking. This has made the act of discipline far more challenging than I expected of a newly two year old.

When she was younger, I found that as she began to explore her environment and nurture her own curiosity, I found myself saying "no" or "don't do/touch/eat that" a tremendous amount of times throughout the day. I was very aware of this and I began to feel uncomfortable as I said it. Although it seemed like the normal thing to do, I didn't like the idea that her first introduction to the world was centered around telling her what she couldn't do all the time.

This sounded good in theory but, was far harder in reality. Being that my daughter liked to test her boundaries anyway and did so with an awareness that I didn't want her doing something, made me very angry. It was one thing to do things with a naivety that babies usually have but, it was quite another to knowingly defy my wishes. And that is exactly what my daughter was good at doing.

So, I abandoned my newfound idea and continued on with telling her "no" and trying to find the best form of discipline. Of course, family and friends weighed in on their punishment of choice and I began to try everything. I tried time-out, scolding, taking toys away, "popping" her hand, using consistent phrases, and on and on. The trick was that whatever I chose, I needed to be consistent. But, I found myself using whichever tactic felt right in the moment.

Now, my daughter is also a very feeling-oriented person (she gets it honestly) and she is very expressive too. She communicates a lot of her needs through expressing her feelings, which usually comes in the form of crying. Now there is something about my daughter's cry that can get my blood boiling so I would usually respond by telling her to "stop," if it there wasn't an obvious reason for her crying. Again, I was trying to resolve an issue just by putting a cap on her experience.

I began to see how my practices of discipline were shaping my daughter by the way she interacted with her baby brother. She would reenact many of the things I would say to her, with him. While it made for great laughs, I also took note that she was doing what she understood as mothering him.

I reached a point where these approaches didn't really work for me and were not aligned with my way of thinking. Approaching discipline by ways of punishment and trying to establish myself as an authority figure, I wasn't dealing with how to actually evolve the behavior into something positive or teaching her how to make better choices. Moreover, I wasn't introducing many valuable life lessons. By always telling her to stop crying, I wasn't hearing what she was trying to express in the moment or teaching her how to balance her emotions.

I thought about the power of words and I thought about how effective it might be to become more affirming with her. I realized that I could transform the entire experience of disciplining her by consistently acknowledging and elevating the positive things that she does and affirming her through the the more undesirable behaviors. Children, especially babies are little sponges, and that expands the possibilites on how they can be taught. Here are some little tactics I am beginning to try:

*Laugh more often: I realized that nothing cures bad behavior more than laughter and good cheer. My daughter has the heartiest laugh that just fills the room with so much joy. Who has time to misbehave or be stressed (mom) when there is a lot of laughter and fun going on?

*The power of options: Instead of only telling her what she can't do, I also give her something she can do. I was always saying "no," taking things out of her hands, etc. I realized that I didn't want to suppress her avid curiosity. That meant that I had to give her something she could exlplore and also make a committment to do more activities with her. A busy child is a well-behaved child.

*Use trigger happy words: When my daughter begins to have an emotional melt down, I assess what she may be trying to communicate, and if it seems as though she is crying just out of frustration, I tell her to say "I am okay" or "I'm in perfect peace." Doing this consistently really helps her to realize on her own that there is really nothing wrong and that she is alright. I love to hear her say it and the calm that it brings to her. Self-soothing is the beginning of self-healing. And I even have her grand-mother saying affirmations with her now!

*Pair words with a small gesture: One of my challenges with my daughter is getting her to stop and listen. She will hear me but, she will often continue to engage in the behavior I told her not to do. Instead of constantly telling her that she isn't listening, I stop and say "Listen" (firmly) and point to my ears. I calmly explain to her (looking into her eyes) what I asked her to do. If she listens, I immediately tell her that she is being a great listener or how much I love her listening. Babies love to know that they are doing the right thing.

*Stop ranting. It is easy to get on a soapbox, even with a baby. I've learned that babies need precise instructions and they need to be told what to do without distraction. I would talk to my daughter while I was washing dishes, or doing some other activity. Looking them in the eye forces them to face you and what you are telling them.

*Know when to just let it go. Sometimes I would just tell her "no" out of anger or frustration. Know your intentions and know when to say it's okay. As long as they are not in immediate danger or doing something completely out of line, sometimes it is okay to surrender.

*Focus on their strengths. My daughter loves to help and she is an amazing big sister. She likes to help at inappropriate times and I found myself telling her "no" in that arena as well. Instead, I would create opportunites for her to help and let her do things that may undo what I was doing. For example, I had folded some clothes and she came behind me to "fold" them again (which meant throwing them off there respective piles). I let her do it and then I showed her to properly fold something. It didn't cause any harm and she was happy.

This is a definitely a work in progress but, I am already seeing positive changes. These tactics won't always take the place of time-out or whatever punishment but, I feel as though punishment will become less needed if I continue to put more energy into affirming positive behavior. It takes far more awareness, discipline, and work to do this but, I believe that it will warrant even greater results. And it keeps me in check because, if she does something in a moment where I may be frustrated anyway, I can bring myself down so that I won't take it out on her. Stay tuned for my entry entitled, Motherhood: An act of patience. :)

Work in Progress: Raising health-conscious children



When my daughter was born, I made it a part of my mission to really prepare myself to cook delicious and healthy vegan meals for her and now, for my son too. It is important to me that my children love to eat at home and as a family. I often envision my house being a haven for wonderful international cuisine, fresh baked vegan desserts, fresh juices and smoothies, herbal teas, healthy and fun snacks, fruits and veggies taken from my own garden; I fantasize about the kitchen being the heart and soul of our home.

I have been vegetarian for about 8 years now and I have recently recommitted myself to also being dairy-free. I am raising my children to also be meat and dairy-free; it was a decision I made very consciously and I am extremely excited about it. And while I am blessed to be surrounded by a community of mostly vegetarians, outside of it, I often get asked about the choice to live on such a "strict" diet and raising my babies to do the same.

Many times when I say to someone that I am a strict vegetarian, the question I get asked the most is, "What do you eat?!" The funny thing is that it is usually asked with this notion that there isn't anything left. I try to maintain the principle that possibilities are limitless in all aspects of my life, including food and food preparation. So, while I have eliminated many things that I deem unhealthy for myself and my children from our diets, I am that much more motivated to expand my own experience of vegan cooking and to make it a part of our family tradition.

Eating for most people, including myself, is about the pleasure that is recieved from eating certain foods. I know that many people struggle with eating healthy because, "healthy foods" are usually associated with being bland, boring, and unappetizing. I was very fortunate to transition to a vegetarian lifestyle in Tallahassee, amongst a community of vegetarians and vegetarian restaurants that made the most delicious foods. I felt like I had truly experienced the beauty and pure goodness of food for the first time there. I have always had a love for food but, now that I am vegetarian, that love has magnified.

Because of my experience, part of my mission is to somewhat disspell the myth that vegetarians and vegans only eat nuts and berries and take no part in actually enjoying the taste of food. I believe that while the primary goal should be to invest our time and energy into engaging healthy eating habits, I also believe that it can be done in a way that is enjoyable and pleasing to the soul.

I was inspired to write this blog after I watched Oprah's special on veganism. She and 378 of her staff members went vegan for a week. I thought this was an extremely powerful show for several reasons. One, veganism is seen as this extreme lifestyle and it was great that Oprah made it something that was approachable and easier than one might presume. Two, although the show was about veganism, they were more concerned with promoting the idea of health awareness, which I am a strong advocate for. I loved that they talked in depth about getting educated on what you are eating. And three, I know that when Oprah introduces an idea on her show, many people are inspired to change, worldwide. I knew that people all over would be motivated to either take the 7-day vegan challenge or be inspired to change something about their diets or lifestyle.

I don't believe that veganism is a lifestyle for everyone. But, as a mother, I am more concerned with perpetuating the idea that we have to be committed to teaching our children healthy eating habits. Investing in our health and our children's health takes awareness, work, sacrifice, committment, and discipline. I am met with challenges with raising my daughter to be meat and dairy-free already. At home, it is easier to control what she eats. But, when we are at birthday parties, holiday gatherings, or with my family or friends that don't subscribe to the same diet, it can be a bit challenging. It is easier to feed children things that are convenient, accessible, cheaper, and that appear to be more fun and pleasurable but, in the end it could be doing them a disservice. So, even with the challenges, I continue to push forward.

Where there are challenges, there are also benefits that make it worthwhile. My daughter isn't quite 2 and I already see amazing rewards. Anyone who knows my daughter can vouch for how much she loves food. And that is really an understatement! I know that many children are picky eaters, which can present a challenge that I myself haven't dealt with but, I do think that simplifying children's diets early on and introducing them to a host of fruits and vegetables, can be the start of a wonderful foundation.

My daughter eats cooked vegetables of all kinds, some live vegetables, fresh juices, herbal teas (that are safe for babies); she'll even drink tea with garlic in it, like a champ! And she absolutely loves smoothies. I think that I did get a child that just really loves food but, I think that it is also the level of exposure. From what I have seen, many children are only introduced to a few vegetables and fruits and are given junk food more often (including sweets, fast foods, and processed foods), which is a detriment to getting them comfortable with the taste of healthier foods. Especially since in this society, healthy foods are often swallowed up by the promotion of more "kid-friendly" foods, which usually have far less nutritional value.

And that's where my passion and committment comes in. While I do want my children to have a healthy and strong foundation, I also want them to have fun with their food and enjoy it. I know that there is a way to do both and I am currently experiencing it daily. I subscribe to vegan blogs, I research delicious recipes, and I make traditional recipes into vegan friendly ones. And the more I find, the more I realize that being vegan is not as daunting as it is presented. I have found a vegan substitute for just about every favorite meal or dessert that I have and have opened myself to a new wealth of knowledge.

Being committed to a life of conscious and healthy eating helps us, our children, and it can do wonders for the environment. I do think that cutting back on meat, dairy, and processed foods, is a necessity in this country for several reasons but, ultimately it is a personal choice. I am just here to promote the idea that our personal choices should be made with awareness and if we are continually presented with information about concerns with our food consumption, we have to make responsible choices, especially for our children and their well-being. It is a constant work in progress but, the road to a healthy life, can be so much sweeter than you can imagine!

Stay tuned for much more on this topic...

Interested in learning about vegan cooking, check out these websites:

Vegan Blogs I Enjoy:

FatFree Vegan Kitchen: Sinlessly Delicious- http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/

Naturi Beauty Blog: http://naturibeauty.com/blog/ (this blog is a wonderful resource for cooking both vegan and non-vegan foods, as well as other goodies, such as all natural beauty recipes)

Mommy's Minute: The honesty policy

Tea time: One of my favorite ways to "get away."

I am always amazed when my children know exactly what I need and I am so appreciative for their understanding and patience. And sometimes they need my understanding, and today was one of those days. I woke up feeling awful; I have been fighting sickness for the past couple weeks but, today it got worse. I had to put it all aside because, both babies seemed to require much more attention today. My sun was particularly fussy, I know it is because I've had to breast feed him from one breast while the other one healed from a wound I have (no one tells you how breast feeding changes when your baby gets teeth). And my daughter was just full of energy and wanted me by her side. Needless to say, all I wanted was to curl up in bed and rest.

Now that they are both tucked into bed, the weight of the day has fallen on my shoulders. And while I would've loved to go and rest, I needed to make preparations for tomorrow, while I had some time to myself. I was also reflecting on the day; I kept feeling like I was going to run out of steam but somehow, the energy just kept coming (thankfully). I feel like that many days, which has led me to making more of a commitment for some "me time." Even though I know I am a strong person and that will power is real, I also know that running on empty is not a healthy way to live.

When it comes to being a mom, I can honestly say that I am an "overachiever." I do believe that being ambitious is needed in the times that we live but, I realize that everyone needs time to reengergize and regroup. I can be a bit unrealistic on how much I can handle in a day, even though my intentions are always good. I remember a few weeks back, I left an update on my facebook status saying that while I love to talk about all the great things I experience with my babies, I was really looking forward to a break from them. That was a very hard thing for me to say out loud and I shared that too in my update. A wise woman commented and her words stick with me. She said, "Needing a break doesn't make you a bad mommy, it makes you human."

I thought about that tonight and her words inspired this entry. I wanted to say out loud to other mothers and people who constantly give of themselves, and may be struggling with that same feeling, that it is okay to be honest with where you are. You are only enhancing yourself by turning inward and listening to your feelings and adhering to your own needs. I let so much time go by without ever checking in with myself and setting aside time for me. It is not healthy and in the end, you are doing yourself a disservice.


Taking a week long vacation or even taking an entire weekend is a lofty goal, at least for me. So my little motto is "take advantage of the ordinary." I think its a very healthy idea to try to find a few moments to yourself everyday. The more the merrier of course but, for me I have to start small. So, this is my moment. Writing is very relaxing and carthartic for me. And once I am finished here, I will have a cup of hot green tea, which also calms me. It may seem simple or mundane, but I can put my all into the moment and come out feeling renewed. It is a work in progress to be completely present and to make the time completely about my needs but, it must be considered a priority daily.

The lesson here is to commit to an honesty policy with yourself. I have feelings of guilt and disappointment that may arise when I am honest but, I remind myself of those wise words. And the better I take care of myself the better equipped I am to handle all that life and my babies bring.

This was on my heart to share and I hope that these words bring comfort and reassurance to those who may need to hear it.

Motherhood: Breaking down barriers

I've been working really hard at training myself to braid my daughter's hair. And while it has proven to be quite an enjoyable experience, I look back on when I was younger and I swore that if I ever had a girl, someone else would be in charge of maintaining her hair. I wasn't very good with caring for my own hair growing up and even at present, I find it somewhat difficult to find the time. I admired people who could braid and thought it was intriguing but, I never even considered the possibility that I could ever braid anyone's hair. So yesterday, when my dear friend who happenes to be an awesome hair stylist, complimented me on my daughter's braids, I was beaming with joy. She also recognized how hard I work to prepare myself for when my children get older.

It is easy to think that who you are or what you can do, are very static things but, when a journey like motherhood comes along, it can help break down these types of illusive barriers. I would look at people braiding hair and it always seemed so foreign to me. Now, I feel extremely comfortable with it and I am very happy to share the experience with my daughter. Actually learning how to braid was quite instantaneous, once I actually decided I would try. The work began in actually developing the skills and opening up creatively, in that regard.

Self-imposed limitations are a detriment to attaining personal freedom, in my opinion. I can't believe how many things I wrote off before even giving myself a chance to entertain the idea that I could do them. Since allowing myself the room to explore, I have grown tremendously in so many areas I never imagined before. And while I am very thoughtful in my preparations and work as a mother, I continually inspire myself to try more, especially when I see barriers being torn down in my life. Because of my willingness to learn, I am more fulfilled and I don't feel trapped by percieved limitations. And most importantly, I have more to offer my children.

Something as "simple" as braiding my daughter's hair has truly amounted to an eye-opening experience. My points of reflection are to think about things you've written off as impossible for you to do or experience. What would it take for you to become open to exploring those things? What do you think caused the barrier (s)?

Let's break down those barriers to experience more fulfillment and personal freedom.



POSSIBILITY.

Motherhood: Living in gratitude

Gratitude....the word alone invokes this feeling within me; an utter appreciation that lingers in every fiber of my being. Since having my children, I have become deeply aware of just how beautiful and sacred life is. Having been through times where my resources were very limited, "living in gratitude" became one of the greatest lessons for my life. And in confronting feelings of hopelessness when I lost my father, all I had left to cling to, was gratitude. In the midst of sadness, violence, inhumanity, oppression, and my own personal difficulties; I have found that living in gratitude is a shining beacon that connects me back to goodness and peace. And I teach this principle of life to my babies.
                                                    

                                                   

( Asase Ye Duru, "the earth has weight"~ symbolizes the divinity of Mother Earth; it  represents the importance of sustaining Mother Earth).

A very significant part of living in gratitude, for me, is to honor the "mother principle" that exists in all aspects of life. When I began to walk my path, as a mother, it was a natural progression for me to become more aware of the Earth and how she continues to sustain (mother) us; despite our wayward disconnection and mass consumption of her resources. Now, I am constantly giving thanks for everything that is from the Earth, I am conscious of how I use resources that I am blessed to have, and I take the time to just enjoy her boundless splendor with my children.

I became much more understanding and grateful for my own mother, on this journey. Sharing the road of motherhood with my mom is such a beautiful and healing experience. I was able to let go of old "stuff" and I am better able to just enjoy my mother as she is. Her support and love is unending and to her, I am forever grateful.

Living in gratitude is also about honoring the mothers who came before me. As I labored with my daughter at home, I felt this intrinsic connection to my foremothers. I called upon the names I knew and honored the ones who remain nameless. I had the strength to carry on because, I knew many of my ancestors gave birth to their children with bravery, in the midst of great suffering. When I find that I feel weakened by a moment of difficulty, I think about those mothers of slavery, the mothers of the civil rights movement, and the mothers of past, whose spirits beamed brightly, despite the intended oppression of their authenticity, as human beings, women, and mothers.

These are just some of the ways I experience and express my gratitude, in regards to honoring the mothers in my life. As I continue to uncover my purpose as a mother, I am learning from all the wisdom and guidance that is all around me. It is a priviledge to be a part of such a sacred and powerful circle.

A point of reflection: How do you experience/express your gratitude for the mothers in your life?

Mommy Adventures: The baby food dilemma

So, let me get right into it. I don't know what to do about my "sun,"as I call him. He won't eat anything I give him! I have been breast feeding him exclusively since he was born. And since I am home with him, I didn't bother with bottles. He did have a bottle once when he was a newborn and he took it very easily. A couple months ago, when he was going on an outing with some of my extended family, I sent bottles with them, thinking that he would take them like a champ. He was 7-months old by that time but, I thought he would take them with ease, just like he did as a newborn. My sun is a very big baby so (naively), I figured he wouldn't care what "container" his food came in. I couldn't have been more wrong. He had settled on dismissing the bottles and he waited to get home to his all natural food supply.

That was a wake up call for me and I knew I needed to get him adjusted to taking a bottle. I started trying to give him a bottle at least once a day. He wouldn't budge. Between trying to potty train my daughter and bottle train my sun, I was exhausted. Both of them are extremely strong-willed and didn't want to participate in either process. My daughter was very helpful with trying to get her brother to drink from a bottle, but both of us were met with resistance. I temporarily gave up.

A few weeks ago, the process became even more challenging when he was going on another outing. I talked to his pediatrician about it and she told me that someone else would probably need to give it to him. In the midst of trying to prepare him for his day, my manual pump broke (after only a few uses). So, I had to get a quick plan B. I decided to get some soy formula from the health food store. I am not a real fan of formula (although I had to use it with my daughter; that's another story) but, I found one that had only a few ingredients. He still wasn't taking a bottle but, I figured my friend could try to give it to him while I wasn't around.

He was uncompromising. By this time, I had also tried giving him brown rice cereal. He would eat a couple spoonfuls with me but, that was it. When he was out, he ate a couple bowls! That gave me the idea that I should start trying more solid foods.

Since that time, I have tried brown rice cereal, cornmeal porridge, carrots (which he ate in the beginning but, now wants no parts of), sweet potatoes, peas, and bananas. I've tried to warm the baby food and I have given it to him at room temperature. I've tried sticking with one vegetable for the week to get him adjusted, that doesn't help. I've tried both jar food and homemade. He won't even acknowledge it most times. If I do manage to get some in his mouth, he looks like he is disgusted and starts swatting at the spoon to prevent any other sneak attacks. Did I mention that he is the strongest almost 9- month old on the planet? The only thing as of late that he successfully ate for me were prunes! He ate the smallest jar over the course of two days.

My sun is a "bubs" baby. He doesn't need anything else in the world but his milk. He savors every moment and rarely wants to part with them. And while it has been a beautiful experience, I need the flexibility of having other options. My life is getting busier and my babies are beginning to spend time in others' care more often. He doesn't seem to have the same problem with eating baby food with others but, he won't entertain the bottle or sippy cup (I forgot to mention I've tried that too). And it would be nice to have my body back, just a little. I still want to continue breast feeding, but I'd like for him to have other sources for his food intake too.

This experience has been so different than my daughter. As I said before, I had to give up (sadly) trying to breast feed her because she never latched on properly. Every transition she made in the process of getting her to eat was much smoother. And now, she can't stop eating! But, my dear sun has taken on a different approach, and I am all out of ideas.

I am turning this one to you Mamas and/or Papas, what do you suggest I do??

Work in Progress: How to manage my 24 hours

One of my spiritual teachers, Dr. Dana Dennard, used to always say, "Everyone has the same 24 hours, what are you doing with yours?" Well, I haven't quite mastered utilizing my time at an optimal level. I marvel at some folks who seem to be experts on how to make every minute purposeful and who can stretch out a day that for me, seems to just fly by. I also reflect on my resilient ancestors, who weren't given a choice as to how they could spend their hours. In the midst of great suffering, they were able to toil tirelessly; and the fruits of their labor didn't give them freedom, or even opportunity. As a mother, trying to juggle all the responsibilities of life and achieve my life goals, I look to them as inspiration to keep me going. I want to honor them, myself, and my children by appreciating the time that I have and using it wisely.With the personal freedom to make the most of my time and be a visionary leader in life, I know that managing my time is key to my success.

There are a few personal challenges that I must overcome. First, I have never been an orderly and organized person. Second, I have never been one for strict routines. Three, I have a love affair with sleep. I have always been one to get a nap, or two in throughout the day. Everyone who knows me, knows how I like to sleep. But, that has actually changed since I've become a mother. I want to be able to be with my kids during the day and then stay up working when they go to sleep at night. But, by the time I get everything done and put the babies to bed, I am tired and just want to go to sleep too. Especially, because I know that I don't get much sleep anyway, with my breast-feeding son.

Although I want to be more on a schedule with my babies, I am trying to figure out how to get time in for myself, mostly. During the day creates the most challenge with juggling the activities of both babies. I need to spend more time writing, building my business, my personal and spiritual discipline, and maintaining myself healthwise. I wake up wanting to get so many things accomplished but, by the time I complete my motherly duties and deal with all the unexpected happenings of the day, the time has flown by!

This is something that I think about all the time. The next step is to work with my life and empowerment coach, Oronde Yero (http://www.ascensiontime.com/), on developing a "Day A and Day B." This is a great organization tool, coined by him, and I am very excited about it. I have already mapped out my life goals and the habits I need to develop to make sure I am creating a life that supports and nurtures those goals. The key is to find the balance between motherhood, work, spiritual discipline, and personal care. My schedule has to allow time to address all of these areas, keep them balanced and interconnected, and I have to be disciplined in my implementation. Day A will be my main schedule and Day B will be the schedule I employ if something unexpected arises which, with 2 kids, is inevitable.

I am excited to develop my day and to see how it helps me to become more conscious and purposeful with my time. I hope to also build enough energy and maintain my own health better. That way, I can decrease the number of hours I need to sleep. I already have this urge to stay awake but, my body says otherwise, most times.

So just as my spiritual teacher asks of his students, I will pose the question to you. "Everyone has the same 24 hours, what are you doing with yours?" If you don't think that you are maximizing your time to reach your life goals or to achieve personal fulfillment, how can you organize your life to support these matters? If you have any suggestions you'd like to share, I'd love to hear from you. Either way, I think this is an important point of reflection for everyone, as we all work to create our very best lives.

For more information on how you can best organize your day and your life, visit: http://www.ascensiontime.com/ or http://www.ascensionblog.com/